That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
