You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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