To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
