I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
