What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
