You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I currently don't understand fingers.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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