So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
