I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
