I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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