just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
