wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
