I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
