I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
