why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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