i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You pole danced in your parka.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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