My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
