I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
