it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
