Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
