Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
