We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
