Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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