the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Say something about gay babies.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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