Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
