no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
