I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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