"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
