i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
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