cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
