Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I supernannyed him into submission
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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