Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
