he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
