This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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