The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I made him laugh his dick is mine
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
