She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
