and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
