forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
