i wish my penis had a tongue
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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