Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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