jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
