My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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