I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
