hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
