I'm drive I can fine osifer
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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