I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Do vagina's smell?
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
