Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Randomize
