If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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