Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
