i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
