I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
