Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
